I’ve reached the finish line of the Erin and David Wedding Extravaganza.

All that remains is to step into the shower and eradicate helmet head and that pesky b.o.

This might take awhile, as my up-do required many ounces of extra-hold spray, and the temperature of the church rivaled that of the equatorial sun. When the trumpet sounded and Erin rounded the bend, my eyes teared and my armpits produced like never before. The bridesmaid behind me actually stopped to wipe the sweat that was rolling down her legs and dripping on her feet. This made my snot-mopping a little less conspicuous, and for that I am grateful.

Miraculously, I was the only bridesmaid not to spill on my silver dress. This might have something to do with the fact that I was also the only bridesmaid who wasn’t loaded, but I’m proud of myself, nevertheless.

Now that the formalities are finished, the newlyweds will bask in the glow of their nuptial fantasia all the way to Hawaii, and Dan, Shef, and I will away once more to the Lake Isle of Innisfree.