Everyone knows that I hate fun. Dan was the first to name this trait, but once he did, I felt kind of free. I knew in my heart that I've pretty much always hated fun, and frankly, it felt good to finally be myself.

Group ice breakers?

Teams-building courses with colleagues?

Easter egg hunts and rolls?

Pumpkin carving?

Even happy hour if there are too many people there, and it's too loud?

I don't really like any of these things.  I'll do them out of politeness or professionalism, but I definitely won't enjoy them. Even if I'm laughing and looking like I'm having a good time, I'm probably not. I simply refuse to enjoy things that are fun.

So, it should be clear then, that I also hate Halloween in general, and costumes in particular. Some of my super cute students, though, have been asking about my costume for Monday.

"Oh," I told them, wrinkling my nose. "I'm not dressing up." They stared at me, maybe thinking I was kidding. "I don't like fun," I continued. They blinked.

"But I have an idea for you!" one of them said, adorably hopeful.

"Tell me," I acquiesced.

"You should be the grammar police!"

Now that IS an idea. "I'll keep it in mind," I told the sixers, raising my index finger for emphasis. And sure enough? I think I might actually dress up this year. I need a white t-shirt and a Sharpie, on which I'll write snarky messages like, "An apostrophe won't make your family's name plural, I promise." I also need a police cap (Walgreens?!) and a red felt-tip correcting pen.

Easy peasy AND super not fun. Can you think of a bigger buzz kill than someone who corrects you're your grammar? This is the perfect costume for me.

Mac also hates things.

Three more things I hate from the This American Life blogging challenge.

• Quindlen doesn't care for the descriptor, "women's fiction." Of course, just yesterday I researched the genre for my own fiction writing project, and it's probably "women's fiction." This is a term you use to sell your book to an agent or editor, but it all - literary fiction, genre fiction, upmarket fiction, book club fiction - gets shelved together in the same section of the bookstore. Do you know why Quindlen hates the "women's" distinction? I bet you can guess. It's because it relegates writing by women, with a primary audience of women to a lesser status. As she puts it, it reveals a "lack of respect for women's lives." And, all of it is really "women's fiction" because women purchase about 80% of hardcover fiction sold.
• After Quindlen finishes a manuscript, she reads the entire thing aloud to herself. Connection! I also do this, but with every blog post and every important email. She says it takes a week. And when, she's finished reading it, she proclaims out loud, "This is good work." She does that because the concept of "audience" is slippery. It's her own voice that matters.
• Reading, according to Quindlen, is a democratic act. We practice empathy, we gain knowledge and perception of nuance. There's no "I'm too busy to read." Reading is always worth the time. It's how we stay in the light as a people and as a society.

Every feminist has a "slacks" story.

Whispering feminism to high school boys.

Theater: I saw Sense and Sensibility at the Guthrie Theater last weekend. It was utterly delightful, with all the heart I remembered from the novel (Austen, obvi) and the movie (Thompson, natch). I can't be alone in favoring stories wherein people who are wholesome and good and filled with integrity win out in the end. This is one of those. Also, the staging was cool with a large turntable in the middle of the set, meant to symbolize movement between spaces and also the whirling and unpredictable alliances and dissolutions of well-to-do society. I like plays, as it turns out. I'm going to another one, called The Oldest Boy, soon. The same gal who directed Sense is taking on this one. It'll probably be just as good.

Audiobooks: I'm in the middle of The Boys in the Boat, narrated by the warm-voiced, and I choose to believe warm-hearted, Edward Herrmann. The story of a scrappy eight-man crew headed for the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin is riveting all on its own, but I think it's made even more so by Herrmann's perfect narration. If you like underdog stories, true stories, sports stories, or just any old good story, you might want to consider this recording. I can already tell it's going to make my list of Favorite Listens of 2016.

Music: Although I've reviewed music at least once, I'm not good at it, and I don't have any music to review today.

Podcasts: I like all of the usuals, but the one I won't miss these days is The West Wing Weekly. Of course, I also watch the corresponding television episode each week - the one they're going to discuss. Last week's was the one where people are mean to Ainsley Hayes, and to make up for it, Sam, Toby, Josh, and CJ decorate her office with Gilbert and Sullivan posters. As the podcasters pointed out, there were a few problems with the episode, but I don't care. I love that moment when they sing the HMS Pinafore song. The lesson to me is this: sometimes things that aren't perfect still work.

Media Report: February 2016

Jason Bourne Movie Review

The doctor laughed pretty heartily then, and I felt gratified that she thought I was funny.

I think she also thought it was just generally funny that I chose to drink a pot or two of coffee per day, while also complaining of anxiety and psoriasis.

When the doctor stopped laughing, she said, "You can't do that. You can't drink all the coffee." She wrote as much on my homework and said to wean off of it by cutting a quarter per day.

I did that last week, and now I haven't had any coffee since Saturday.  I do have a low grade-type headache, but otherwise, the symptoms aren't that bad. My energy is high, my mood is good, and I can drink green tea now. That has caffeine, but it doesn't cause the same digestive problem. There's something that happens to the coffee bean when its roasted, you see, which alters its chemistry or something and makes it tough to digest. Green tea, though, has caffeine to stem my headache and also a compound in it that actually acts like Xanax, but isn't habit forming.

My doctor told me all of that herself. I'm paraphrasing.

I also want to talk for a couple more seconds about how I quit sugar last week, but I hate to brag.


When Shef and Dan told me to "try harder" at tying skates.

The November 2015 Bragging Challenge.

Can you even believe it's the end of the first quarter? It's true. Grades are just about due, and conferences are on the horizon. Here's a list of random things that are on my mind:

At school this week, one poor little sixer called me "Mom." The children are mortified when this happens, but I think it's cute.

I've made a list of all of the things I have to grade this weekend. The list is long.

The piles of laundry that have to be folded are obvious to all, as is the stinkiness of the dog.

I'm going to submit 3000 edited words to my writing teacher by tomorrow. My writing group is getting another 1500-2000.

My new integrative medicine specialist told me that while 20-30 minutes of moderate exercise works for depression, if your problem is anxiety, you need 40 minutes of moderate exercise 4-5 times per week.

This morning I took the dog for a run around the lake. In addition to being stinky, he has a bit of a weight problem.

I plan to write an audiobook review of The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead sometime today, before I go see Sense and Sensibility at the Guthrie Theater.

And, right now I'm getting into the Dead Sea salt bath with a side of stress-relieving meditation app. Before I start all of that other stuff.

It's that time again. Actually, it was that time four days ago. But you know what? I'm trying my best. Plus, better late than never.

HERE is the 1st Quarterly Review of 2016; HERE's the second.

Now this is the third:

The Three Best Books I Read in the Third Quarter:

• It Ain't So Awful, Falafel by Firoozeh Dumas. Hilarity and history meld in a heartfelt story that takes place in Newport Beach, California during the Iran hostage crisis. The sixers just finished reading and discussing this. They really liked it. I'm not surprised because it has a great mix of laughs, friendship, cultural conflict, and middle school.
• The Hired Girl by Laura Amy Schlitz. I wrote a full review of this at Literary Quicksand. In the review, I reported that I "flat-out loved" it.  It's true. Short version: this compassionate and witty novel is a feminist story for all ages.
• Just Kids by Patti Smith. I got obsessed with Smith's memoir and couldn't stop tweeting about it. Once again, I reviewed it at LQ, the audio version, this time. This will certainly make my top 5 nonfiction picks of 2016. If I listed the top 3, it would still make it. It would probably make the top 1.