Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Challenge!

I'm really excited because my BBFF Lee has posed a July blogging challenge.

You can see a really cool video about the challenge at Lee's blog. CHECK IT OUT!

I'm starting tomorrow with the letter A. I already picked my topic, but I'm not telling until July 1.


I mean, Letter.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

It Must Be Some Failure on Our Part

When Mac started crawling out of his crib, we got him a nice little toddler bed and a gate for his door.

This has been a total nightmare, pretty much. We have to sit with him while he falls asleep and then visit him and rest with him in his TODDLER BED many times during the night. If we don't do these things, hours of screaming ensue.

"Mac," I said to him this morning, "why won't you sleep in your bed all night long by yourself?"

"Ummmmm," he said. "Bug in my bed."

"There's not a bug in your bed," I told him.

He shrugged and walked away.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Had the Radio On

Finally after months and months of loneliness and despair on my part, my sister will be home in 27 days. I cannot adequately express my relief and happiness about this fact.

My immense relief and happiness survived even her very first homecoming request: she wants us to get pedicures together.

My birth mother (her mother) communicated this desire to me, and I mustered as much enthusiasm as possible.

"I'll totally do that," I said, gamely.

"Won't it be fun?" Martha asked, excited.

"Well," I continued, "you know I don't currently have any toenails."

That wasn't quite true. I do, at this moment, have 5.5 toenails of the usual 10.

Still, it's probably going to be the best homecoming ever.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Yo Homes to Bel Air

During Mac's nap, I made this podcast. It's one of my best podcasts ever, I think, partly because I did not use Apple loops. Some listeners thought the Apple loops I used last time sounded like a porn soundtrack. That wasn't the effect I was going for, obviously.

You'll probably want to CLICK HERE to listen to the podcast.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Good While It Lasted

Well, today as I was finishing up my first real day of summer vacation in the coffee shop reading some contemporary American dramas, I got a call from Mac's teacher saying he woke up from his nap with a fever. Yesterday she sent an email saying, "Look out for lice!"

Tomorrow he'll stay home with me. If he feels good, I'm going to take him to Kids' Hair for a trim.

This is an okay plan, but it's not what I envisioned.

Friday, June 11, 2010

A Fork the Size of Texas

Today was the last day of school. I'm sad to say it wasn't the Best Year Ever. Of course there were some great highlights. In terms of awesomeness of students and quality of intellectual work, this year surely contends for B.Y.E. However, if we're looking at overall experience, 2006-07 was definitely a better year, as was 2002-03. In those years, no parents wrote on a survey that I don't actually do any work or care about students' academic development, and instead that I just play on my computer all day "for personal reasons."

I wish the mom who wrote those asinine things had signed her name to my survey because I would have called her up to ask if she realized everything I sacrificed to teach her daughter in a blended class this year. LADY, I would say, I GAVE UP TELEVISION FOR YOU! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S PLAYING ON BRAVO! I WAS SIX WEEKS BEHIND ON BIGGEST LOSER! ALL FOR YOU!

Still, the most important thing about this year at this point, is that it's over. My grades are reported, my materials are checked in, and my stuff is safely locked in the closet in my brand new room.

Also, our adorable second child turned two. Mac is the greatest, obviously. That's why I got him a trike. I think he'll like it.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Best Drawing Ever

It's finally the end of the year. It's seemed like the end of the year for about a month for myriad reasons, but now we're really and truly there. Only final exams and grading remain. I've even taken down classroom decorations because, as I mentioned before, I'm giving up the smallest room in the school in favor of a normal-sized space with plenty of leg room for thirty senior boys.

I've never taught senior boys before, but Rachel has, and from what she tells me it seems like there will be a lot of blog fodder, among other things. Like fart jokes and swearing and many many awkward moments when I'll be forced to advise against drugs and for birth control.

Anyway, I've been taking down the decorations, including a sign I put on the outside of my room, identifying myself and the classes I teach. It's a weird little sign that I hand-wrote the night of parent open house. I remember hanging it, but I'd forgotten why I put it on the wall instead of the door and why I didn't bother printing something out.

When I took it off, the memories came flooding back: That night, I'd had about thirty seconds before the parents arrived to cover up the giant penis drawing I'd just discovered above my room number plaque. A penis drawing in fine-tipped permanent marker.

Oh summer. I'll be so happy to see you again next Wednesday. So, so happy.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

It's So Over

We've reached the point in the year where school is just sort of dumb.

The students are done, the teachers are done, the administrators send out long emails filled with elaborate plans to JUST KEEP THE LID ON!!

We have six days left.

In the midst of all this, I'm scheduled to run a marathon this weekend. I feel sort of like this marathon could be the worst idea of my life. I feel paunchy, tired, and over Diet-Coked. This is not the ideal condition to be in days before a 26.2-mile race.

But, I did do some running in preparation, so it's likely that I'll haul myself and any cellulite that may or may not have recently developed over the finish line in order to acquire the t-shirt. Needless to say, I'm expecting a pretty slow time.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Another From the Annals of Younger Brotherhood

Walking back from the pool with the family on a gorgeous sunny Memorial Day.

Me: Mac, what's your school called?

Mac: Poopy!

Me: No, that's not right. What's it called?

Mac: Big poopy!

I sense that things will probably get worse from here. Why wouldn't they?