Wednesday, September 26, 2012

We Were All Born Superstars

There's an Autumn challenge afoot, so I'm happy to report that I did indeed go outside today and enjoy some primo Autumn weather.

I actually went for a run after school with a fab colleague. A highlight of this particular training run was encountering the entirety of the middle school boys' cross country team. Hi, guys!

For some reason, I signed up for two races with this gal: a 10k on the 14th of October and a 10 miler on the 27th. So, we'll likely be enjoying more autumnal experiences before the snow falls.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Burning Like a Silver Flame

Went to Back-to-School-Night and found Mac's project displayed on the wall. Here's his family portrait:

And here's his artist's statement:

Here's my question: Why am I zero? Why have I not been born? What about the combined 44 hours I spent in labor?!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

People Driving All Fast

This is the boys walking into school together.


I can't even tell you how happy it makes me to go to school with them. I drop them off and pick them up. Shef sticks his head in and waves at me on the way to lunch. My 8th grade advisory will be the buddy class for Mac's Pre-K.

Right now they think it's cool, so I'm milking it for all it's worth.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Hooptie Hooptie Hoop

Just finished a morning run and on my way upstairs to comb out my hair. Let's hope this is the last comb-out, shall we? It takes for flipping ever. I have to do everyone's hair at some point today - front-to-back, back-to-front, left-to-right, and right-to-left with a nit comb.

We now own four of those. One for each of us, boiled between uses.

After all that, we're planning on opening up the rest of the house. The lice should be dead by now. They need a human host, or else they die in 48 hours. We gave them 96 just to be safe.

My next stop today will be to one of the salons that carries lice-repelling spray. Each of us will be dosed in that before returning to school. If we get the lice right back again, I'll probably freak out pretty hard-core. I handled this outbreak with humor and a smile. If there's a next outbreak, I think I'll handle it with a full-blown temper tantrum.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

You Won't Stop

Tonight was curriculum night. You gotta be good on curriculum night. That's why I arranged a couple of hours to prepare after school.

And then.

AND THEN, Brenda from the Lower School called to tell me that Mac has lice. "This is the call you don't want to get," she said.

Immediately, I knew we all had lice. I mean, this is a family that sleeps together 85% of the time. I had her call Shef down from 3rd grade, confirmed our cases and drove straight to the lice removal center. Yes, that's a real place.

While the nice lady was killing my colony for a hefty price, I demanded to know on a scale of 1-10 how bad my infestation was. A seven, she said. She thought I might be Patient Zero.

But then she saw Shef's head. Shef's Patient Zero, as it turns out. He wins for the most lice.

But does it matter? No, it doesn't. The reality is we all had lice. Also, I missed the start of curriculum night because I was waiting for my outfit to be in the dryer on high for 40 minutes and also washing my hair two times to remove the treatment junk.

That's a picture of some lice residue Stacy the Lice Lady scraped out of my hair. Just FYI. Also, I'll be waking early to comb the kids out before we go back to school. And, most of our house is quarantined.

Good times!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Whatchu Want?!

I recently re-read some previous blog entries. Specifically, the ones I've written each September since the inception of this blog in 2005. Sometimes I do that, read back through that month's posts through history, just to review life a bit. The kids like it because there are usually funny stories about them at different ages.

Anyway, based on that research, I can say that I'm having a pretty good, calm start of school.Still, I've lost my keys. I drove home, came inside, and lost them. Or Pronto ate them. All 15 or 20. That's actually a possibility.

Also, Mac still refuses to discuss school most of the time. He says he doesn't do anything and doesn't have any pals, but the newsletters from the teacher show him doing tons of stuff and include transcripts of his interactions with pals. He played a leading role in designing a haunted house with silky scarves, for instance. He's also written about six books, all titled MOM. I'd be super flattered, except for that the only words he actually knows how to write really well are MOM and MAC.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

A Little in the Middle

Got back from overnight camp with the 8th graders. Fun times on the high ropes, but exhausting. Also enlightening. For instance, learned about Fart Baseball. Bet you've never heard of it.

I heard of it when our group's ropes facilitator let one rip while we were working the Tree Leap. That's the thing where you climb up like 25 feet in the air on this tree, stand on a disk at the top, and jump off. I did it to prove my bravery and trust to my 8th graders.

Anyway, the guy just passes some loud gas. We all look at him like WHA?! He says, "Oh, I forgot we weren't just playing Fart Baseball."

Fart Baseball goes like this: each fart you produce that's either audible or smellable counts as a base. 1st fart is 1st base. You try to do four (HOMERUN!) before anyone can break in with their own audible and/or smellable fart.

Super, right? Think 8th grade boys liked that? Think I didn't hear random calls of "2nd base!" and "3rd base!" as the boys were ascending the climbing wall on Friday?

Yeah. Happy weekend.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Kiss Me and Cry for Me

So, Pronto bites. That's the biggest problem. Basically, we've managed to get a dog that doesn't like to cuddle, can't be left alone in a room, goes ballistic at the sight of other dogs, and terrorizes the children. He doesn't draw blood, but... BUT, they're super afraid of him because he nips all the time. Sometimes he tears their clothes and makes bruises.

On Friday night, my brother Kevin babysat. When we got home, he was restraining Pronto. "This dog is THE WORST," he proclaimed.

On Saturday, our friend Tom commiserated with us when the topic of Pronto came up. We had hidden the dog in the attic, so he wouldn't eat Tom's kids. "I've just never met a dog that you can't pet," he said.

It's true that this is not a pet I imagined having. I got the dog to be a companion to the CHILDREN! I got the dog to sit in my lap while I watched tv. I did not get a dog because I wanted a spaz running loose on the property who would break large wooden structures.

A neighbor told me today that Pronto had managed to hurtle his head through the fence while they walked by with their nice, squishy lap dog.

"Yeah," I said. "Dan went out and nailed it back together."

"Oh good," the neighbor said. "That dog is a fierce protector."

So, Dan's calling the rescue tomorrow to tell them Pronto needs a family that doesn't have kids. I think it's the right call. Shef and Mac agree, which is really saying something. Deep down, we all really like Pronto and wanted him to work out.

"I want a dog to sleep in my room," Mac said. That would be nice. When I tried to have Pronto sleep in my room, I woke up to find him eating my bras.

I feel like a failure, and frankly, I'm not sure what to say to potential adopters. Pronto doesn't have many good traits. It's true that he is extremely handsome and a good exercise partner. As long as you exercise in a place where you're not likely to see many other dogs.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Feelin' Like P. Diddy

Mac's first couple of days were highly successful. By highly successful, I mean he went to school and seems to have cooperated and completed activities. On the first day, he wrote a book with beautiful pictures and words like "MOM," "MAC," and "MACIMAC," which we think is Mackie-Mac.

I tried to interview him this morning about the first couple of days, and this is what I got:

After Dan listened to it, he nodded sagely. Like, this is totally what we'd expect to get when interviewing Mac. Kid only performs when he feels like it, yo.

This is in contrast to Shef, who performs all the time, over-the-top. Four years ago, I interviewed the first born about HIS first couple of days in the same class. Look at him go:

Untitled from Savvy Mom on Vimeo.