Sunday, August 31, 2008

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture

Shef developed a gross wart on one of his toes this summer. I have extensive experience with warts and their removal. So, not surprisingly, I'm obsessed with the eradication of Shef's wart. I'd like to pick at it and peel it and pour acid on it every hour of each day. Sadly, Shef won't let me near his feet unless I promise not to touch the wart or any other part of any toe.

His understandable apprehension gets in the way of the treatment plan suggested by our pediatrician: file it down with an emery board and apply Compound W daily.

I told my mom about this problem and she scoffed at the Compound W plan. "Warts come in times of stress," she said, knowingly. "All you need to do is rub the wart with a green scapular in the sign of the cross and say some prayers."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes!" she said, very sure of herself. "That's how I got rid of my warts in junior high. They were huge!" She gestured at her legs. "And then Aunt Judy's warts were cured by the faith healer, but the green scapular will do it."

Because I had my doubts about the medical plan, I decided to give the painless Catholic treatment a try. "But, I don't have a green scapular," I told her. "I only have brown."

"I'm sure that will be fine," my mom said, nodding.

"And what prayers do we say?" I asked.

"Oh, well," she said, waving her hand nonchalantly, "just try some Hail Marys."

"And how long will it take until the wart is gone?"

"Nine days," she said confidently. "And just make sure he knows it's going to work."

I'll tell you what: he's much more willing to let me touch the wart with the scapular than with the emery board. So, Our Lady of Mount Carmel, I'm counting on you!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

But Really His Name Is Ratbones

I made a goal this year to post on my blog at least ten times per month. This month, I may not make it. It's been kind of hard to think of amusing anecdotes, to tell you the truth. I don't really have a good excuse except that I've had both kids at home full-time since July 25th. I know that plenty of people do that job all the time, but I was new at it.

It occurred to me that since I'm not teaching at the moment, my yearly emotional calendar has shifted. It used to be September-May was super difficult and stressful, but now it's June-August. Next summer, I'll employ some different coping strategies.

Lucky for me, Shef started his Pre-Kindergarten class last week. He did two half-days to orient himself, and starting on Tuesday he'll be going all day. On Friday, I took this video of him. Before I pressed record, we'd agreed that he would discuss his impressions of school. Instead, he leads off with a description of a violent Indiana Jones game we were playing at my mom's house. Oh well.

Untitled from Savvy Mom on Vimeo.

He is pretty funny, I've gotta say. Next I'll try to get him on tape singing High School Musical.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Project Runway Tomorrow: Some Kind of Automotive Challenge. You Need One Winner Guess.

Last night, Dan was working at the dining room table, and I was tending to my second-born.

"Mr. Masculine and I are going up to bed," I told him eventually.

"Okay," he said, not looking up from his computer. "Why is he 'Mr. Masculine?'"

"Uh, he's wearing a yellow-striped suit that says 'Snuggle Time.'"

"'Snuggle Time'?"


Monday, August 25, 2008

Like A Storm in the Desert

I ordered produce plus from my farm this year, and so I got a pound-and-half each of basil and garlic. Yesterday, I made a huge amount of pesto and froze it in meal-size portions to eat throughout the fall and early winter. I was so proud of myself, and so looking forward to eating that delicious, organic pesto for months to come.

And then, this morning, there were specks and streaks of blood in Mac's stool.

You know what that means, right? It means I probably can't consume any more dairy products for the duration of our nursing relationship. So no pesto for me. Not even a tiny bit.

Friday, August 15, 2008

There Are a Lot of Bikers In This Country That Watch The Olympics

The new kid hit the two-month mark this week. He plays with his hands and feet, tries to bat and kick at toys, makes lots of funny noises, drools profusely, screams every time he rides in the car, and sleeps pretty well, especially compared to his older brother, who still at age four, is widely considered one of the worst sleepers on the planet.

Also this week, Dan and I marked our sixth wedding anniversary. It's been a pretty fun six years, I've gotta say. I reviewed the wedding album in honor of the occasion, and I noticed that I look a lot older than I did in 2002. I figure four years of sleep deprivation might do that to a person.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Show Some Muscle. Do the Hustle.

This is my third week as a full-fledged stay-at-home-mom of two. I cannot tell a lie: I'm pretty tired. During the last week, I've thought of many potential blog topics:

A) My feet, after this second pregnancy, have settled in at size 10.5 or 11. How large is that?

B) My budgeting is going well, and I've been very creative. For instance, instead of buying a new box of nursing bra pads, I've been cutting up leftover maxi pads and sticking them in.

C)Um, I guess that's it. I thought there was one more, but I guess I'm too tired to remember it.

I realized in a panic this morning that today is Wednesday, and we all need to record our Project Runway guesses. Here's what you need: your picks for the next three losers, plus a winner pick for tonight's challenge. Here's the description of the challenge from "The workplace can be a jungle. Inspired by a hit TV show, the Project Runway designers help working women dress the part. Guest Judge: Brooke Shields."

Post here or on Facebook before you watch the show!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

You're Both Brilliant

At the risk of over-mommyblogging, here are a couple of videos:

This is one Dan took of the new kid getting weighed. His size was a surprise to all - my OB guessed "seven-and-a-half or maybe eight pounds."

Untitled from Savvy Mom on Vimeo.

And here's Shef at swimming lessons. He finally started swimming by himself, and we're all pretty excited about it.

Untitled from Savvy Mom on Vimeo.

You're In - Post Your Guess for Tonight's Runway Winner Here or On Facebook

One of my pals just had a baby boy yesterday and posted some lovely photos on Facebook of moments after the event. They're images you've seen a million times, featuring a triumphant mother and a beautiful newborn looking into each other's eyes.

My friend looks radiant in these photos - really glowing with the joy of birthing her new child.

And of course, I'm super happy for her and her unbloated face.

Now, offered here for the sake of contrast, this is me about four hours after Mac was born:

Seriously. WTF?

Friday, August 1, 2008

Holla At Cha Boy

My good pal Renee is getting married tomorrow. It'll be a great day for many reasons, but especially because after the ceremony, her first and last names will rhyme.

Isn't that awesome?

It IS awesome, and I'll tell you why: 1) Renee asked about the status of my fetus's "tail" every day for several months straight; 2) she told 150 eighth graders that I sometimes pee in my pants when I laugh too hard; and 3) she throws balls at me for the sole purpose of making fun of the way I catch. And then, as a bonus for her, to also make fun of the way I throw.

So, I'm totally milking this rhyming thing. I'll be milking it for the rest of my days.