Shef has been feverish for five days straight, and I tell you, we’ve had just about enough.

Even if we didn’t have the hard data, we’d know he’s sick because he cries. A lot. Whenever we leave his side and sometimes when we don’t. This makes me feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. For ten minutes today, I must admit I dumped him in his crib and took refuge in the basement because I felt my brain frizzle and pop – it was, I’m pretty sure, a precursor to explosion.

When I came back to him, he was still crying, so I picked him up and put him in the car for a drive-around.

When we got home he was still awake and still crying, so I thought about holding kebab skewers over a burner and then using them to poke out my eyes.

Please God let him be well enough to go to school tomorrow.