Saturday, July 15, 2023

Being the First Choice

I applied for a job this spring that I really wanted, and I didn't get it.

Of course, this has happened before. Sometimes you get the job, and sometimes you don't. This is the way of the world. And, obviously, there are all kinds of reasons why you might get a job or might not, and only some of the reasons are within your control.

But, and I say this next part not out of ego, but, well, I guess totally out of ego:

I just feel like with my impeccable academic record and my 22-year career in the field of education, which includes successful and accoladed work at nearly every grade level, and the fact that I have published three well-reviewed novels with literally the world's largest publisher... well, is it crazy to think that I might be someone's first choice to teach fourteen-year-olds how to read and write?

It's not like I'm trying to be something super prestigious like a writer in residence at an Ivy League institution or a Hollywood showrunner. It's ninth-grade English! And we're in the middle of a nationwide teacher shortage!

I'd laugh, except-- okay, I am laughing. Maybe I'm just dreaming too damn big. Multi-book, six-figure deals with renowned publishers?! Check! A job you want with stinky teenagers? Better luck next time!

I'd like to stop thinking about this now since I got rejected in March, and now it's July. But this is one of those things that just keeps coming back. I know you understand.


Mary M. said...

They are missing out!!! Keep writing!

LH said...

One time something like this happened to me and it took me about a year to stop thinking about it no matter how hard i tried.

but after a year i noticed that i wasn't thinking about it that much.

and now i never think about it. Except for right now, and it's just barely ticking me off.

So... thank you TIME!

Anonymous said...

As one overqualified high school English teacher to another, please know: you are not alone. It happened to me, too, at my alma mater. It was devastating and it took a long time to get over. I taught at another school and it worked out, but I did not feel the same about teaching. I used to love it and the classroom environment is no longer part of my life. I moved on to a new position last year and it feels good to be free. Everything will be okay - Best Wishes!