Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Fascinating My Ass

What the hell is wrong with Barbara Walters?

I wasted an hour on her “10 Most Fascinating People of the Year” nonsense last night. This was an only a very slightly better way to spend time than picking my toenails or grading the huge pile of essays I promised the tenth graders I’d have for them by Friday.

Barbara asked absolutely NO hard-hitting questions and instead sucked-up shamelessly to all of her “honorees.” She and Tom Cruise, for example, zoomed around in his Mission Impossible mobile laughing about Scientology and “silent birth.” I kept waiting for her to ask, “What methods of mind control are you using on your bride-to-be, you psychotic, egotistical whack-job?” but instead she asked him about his favorite color and how manly he feels while doing his own stunts.

But worse than Tom, and worse than Lance Armstrong not forced to mention “divorce” or “doping” while mugging with Sheryl on the couch, and even worse than the sycophantic Condi Rice tribute, was Barbara’s selection of the year’s MOST FASCINATING person. Realize I waited through like four commercial breaks for the big announcement, and do you know who it was?

Jennifer Aniston? Nope.
Saddam Hussein? Nope.
Jon Stewart or Michael Jackson? Uh-uh.

It was Camilla Parker Bowles. CAMILLA PARKER BOWLES.

Give me a break.


jm said...

Excellent post! I didn't watch this but reading your post, I felt the tension, the suspense, and then the MAJOR let down that you must have felt. Well written ... and probably much more entertaining than watching Barbara's show. Isn't it time for her to devote herself to golfing or UNICEF or something?

cg said...

Kc, I have read and loved your posts for a long time. You always bring a smile to my face...regards Maritha (from the babyboard)

ns. you have inspired me to start my own little blogg - must admit, it is helluva therapeutic.

jdoc said...

Camilla. Really? Damn. I am sorry that you spent your time that way.

KC said...

Maritha, Thanks so much for coming here!! I had no idea you were reading. Will you share the link to your blog??

jm and jdoc -- thanks for the sympathy.

Undomestic said...

On the radio, they had people call in to voice what's more fascinating than Camilla.

Some responses were:
1. A Rock
2. A box of hair

annekris said...

Mark and I also spent the hour waiting with bated breath to discover Barbara's top pick. Even though we speculated on so many names that even Lindsey Lohan made our list, neither of us thought of CP-B. Do you think there's some kind of royal pay-off behind this?