This day was interminable.

First, I read my sub notes from last week. Here's how the missive started: "I don't allow students to sit on desks or jump on furniture. I don't know what you do." The ending was like this: "I think the class did not find me delightful but I tried and they did do some work. Some called me a bitch when they left."

I rolled my eyes and set that down.

Later, after about 5 hours of conferences, I graded a paper by a student that read, "What is courage? Courage changes depending on the situation. One example of courage was when Henry Dobbins wore his ex-girlfriend's panty's around his neck even after they broke up."

Omg.

Still later, after I'd conducted a total of 45 conferences, I really started to lose it. Tim, Kari, Rachel and I were all between customers and standing near my table. I noticed some parents hovering. "Are you looking for one of us slackers?" I smiled, assuming they were waiting for me.

"Yeah," they said. "Rachel?"

"Oh!" I said. "Well!" Oh, crap! "She's right here!"

Haha!

"And," I continued, "She's not really a slacker. She's brilliant!" Rachel was already turned around and marching toward her table, creating as much distance between us as possible.

Did I stop talking at this point? No, I did not.

"She's a genius!" I continued. "So. Have a good conference!" And then I patted them each on the shoulder. Both the mom and the dad.

Tim was bent double with guffaws, and Kari told me I'd officially lost my mind.

8 hours of conferences! Really, what do they expect?!