Last night, I took Shef to my cousin Emily's first communion. While I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school from ages 3 to 17, and served as an altar girl in my family's parish; Shef actually knows nothing about Catholicism.

Here are just a few of things I had to explain to him while we sat through the (interminable) first communion mass:

• The first communion dresses and suits
  
• The sign of the cross
• The golden loin-cloth wearing Jesus ON the cross
• The "on my mind, on my lips, and in my heart" thing that you do before the Gospel
• The kneeler
• Proper kneeler etiquette
• The peace sign
• Proper peace sign etiquette
• The missalette
• The reason I know all of the signs and prayers by heart
• The baptismal font
• The sprinkling of baptismal font water over the heads of the congregation
  
• The procession of the gifts
• The gifts
• The robes of the priest
• The sacristy
• Genuflecting
• Eucaristic ministers
• Getting a blessing from the priest
  
• And of course, the transfiguration

There were probably more. Catholicism is like a second language. Shef was kind of amazed, but also kind of bored. Oh, well.