This was standardized testing week at school.  Friendly, helpful colleagues kept saying stuff like, "Are you okay with the ERBs?"  It was like the ERBs were this amazingly daunting process. And, I was like, Are you kidding?  You know I come from public school, right?  Where standardized testing is on crack?

The teachers kind of laughed, but actually they have no idea because they haven't worked in a climate of insane testing the way the rest of us have.

THEIR kind of standardized testing is so benign, you can't even believe it.  The re-use the testing booklets from year-to-year.  Each teacher is allowed to store the testing materials in her or his classroom overnight without fear of punishment.  If the kids screw up on the bubbling, we can just rebubble for them. If a kid loses a test booklet, we can replace it.  There aren't even any "incident logs" or bathroom monitors.  If the kids don't do well on the test, nothing happens to them. 

In fact, one kid even asked me, "What happens if I fail this math test?

"Nothing!" I said.

I have never been able to say that before during a standardized test ever in my career.  Usually I have to tell them that if they don't pass the test, they won't actually graduate from high school.  I prefer this new, low-stakes situation, to tell you the truth.  I wish every kid could be in it.