I was supposed to go to Los Angeles today to hang out with a cute baby. Instead, I'm going to school to hang out with some cute sixth graders who are finishing essays.

I mean, that's cool. Helping sixth graders with their writing is what I really love to do, after all. I wouldn't want another job, as mine is probably the best.

But it was going to be 63 degrees Fahrenheit today in Los Angeles. In Minneapolis, where I live, it might top 20. And there was going to be a baby - my nephew, whom I was going to meet for the very first time. And the reason the trip won't work is because someone else got a head cold. My own respiratory infection, I'll have you know, has been waning nicely.

I would coach my sixth graders on an abrupt and disappointing change of plans thusly: "Oh, man! What a bummer! Do you think you'll get to go some other time?"

Most of them would then maintain a droopy posture, but give a half-smile when I squeezed their shoulders in consolation. Probably it's true. Probably I could go some other time.

Three takes on Independence, including one requiring flexibility

Something from the summer of 2006, when nothing ever went as planned, and I didn't make a breakthrough in missile technology.

Ever since I wrote about Shef’s recent success at sleeping through the night, he’s only slept through one time.

Last night, he woke up claiming starvation at 2:30. I actually thought this was plausible, since he hadn’t eaten much lunch or dinner.

While he was wolfing down half a bagel, I had a talk with him about how it would be great if he would go back to his own bed after he ate.

“No,” he said flatly, “I’m coming to your bed.”

“Well, how will you ever get that Hot Wheels track?” I asked, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.

“I’ll get a quarter the next night.”

“But that’s what you said last night [when you slept until 5:40, but still refused to stay put for the required twenty minutes to achieve pay day].”

He was unmoved.

I also threatened to call Dr. G. next week, who can play a pretty good Heavy, but this was ineffective. Then, I tried to explain that 90% of four-year-olds have already mastered the skill of sleeping alone, but this got no reaction whatsoever.