Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Recap 7: The New Car

Our car that Dan drives, the Subaru Outback, needs a ton of repairs and rather than invest in them, Dan decides to get a new car.  He drives a bunch and narrows the selection to the Ford Escape and the Toyota Rav4, with the Escape as his first choice.

The boys and I meet him at the car dealership to apply our stamp of approval.  Shef is crying because he doesn't want to drive cars.  That's until he steps inside the showroom and realizes it's a playroom of various Ford vehicles.  And that he can help himself to popcorn from the old fashioned popcorn machine.  "Don't eat that in the cars," I say. 

Does he listen?  No, he does not.

Anyway, I shake hands with Dave the salesguy, and we get set in the Escape.  It's cool.  We all like it.  The boys change the radio stations with their voices.  Basically, we're sold. 

The kids run inside the dealership before I've taken the carseat out of the car we tested.  I find them inside the hatchback trunk of the Escape floor model with the doors locked.  I start to feel vaguely embarrassed.  Dan retreats to the bathroom to get away from us. 

The kids skate out of the Escape and hop into a Fusion.  They're pressing all kinds of buttons, and asking why they can't shift into drive, and all of a sudden the car alarm sounds.  It's extremely loud in the indoor setting of the showroom. "Get out of the car!" I'm hissing.  "We're TRYING," they're saying.  Shef slides further and further down on the passenger side until he's basically on the floor.  "Mom," he says.  "You're embarrassing me."

"I'M embarrassing YOU?" I say.  "Get OUT of the CAR!" 

Eventually, a guy comes over in an official capacity and says he'll shut off the alarm as soon as he finds the key.  Thanks, I say.  And, um, sorry. I hustle the children back to the vending area out of the sightlines of the other pitying customers.  Dan appears, finally.  "I assume that was you guys?" he says smugly.  I nod.  "That's why I stayed in the bathroom extra long.  Hanging out. Washing my hands."

"We'll go now," I offer, leaving Dan to negotiate a sweet deal.  "Good," he says, but not before Mac cries annoyingly about not getting popcorn, and Dan blurts, "JUST BUY HIM A TREAT. Do you want cookies, Mac?  COOKIES?!"

Mac's laughing maniacally on the way back to the van.  "What's so funny?" I ask.  "We are SO not good boys," he giggles. 



Shef said...

I did nothin mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mac did it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mm said...

Funny! Supes Funny!! LOL!!! Literally (LOL)!!!!

jdoc said...

Shef's comments are killing me. Love them. How do you like the new car?

LH said...

This is the funniest recap of all time.