Tuesday, April 4, 2006


My hatred for dogs has developed relatively recently. I surely liked Juno, the dog I grew up with. I used to let her sit on my lap, and even, God forbid, sleep in my bed.

But lately, dogs seem to me to be the most worthless, most annoying, most insidiously needy things people could possibly waste time on.

“We’re never getting a pet,” I say to Dan several times per month.

Certainly the dog bite I got last year might have contributed to my aversion to the canine, but mostly it has intensified because I’ve been living with Amber, my mom’s damn dog, for four months.

I’m almost embarrassed to say that I really, really, very strongly dislike her. I dislike her so much that Dan and I joked about having her euthanized while my mom was out of town. I know this sounds heartless and cruel, but remember that we didn’t actually do it. Instead, we fed her, gave her water, and even pet her multiple times per day. Plus, Amber herself provoked our ire by peeing all over the kitchen floor no fewer five times during the week my mom was in Arizona.

Becuase of this lack of bladder control, Shef frequently now says, “Amber peed,” when we come home from Paul’s, whether she has or hasn't.

Luckily, despite feeling so angry at the dog, who barks incessantly and refuses to obey any commands, that I flung open the door and screamed, "Amber, I hate your damn guts!" wildly into the backyard, I’m feeling a little better. Thank you for all of your well-wishes. I haven’t given up on my spring break, after all.


LH said...

okay, i've had some problems with dogs for a long time now. but my problems got worse on afternoon when teen daughter volunteered to work at a community dog walking thing. I dropped her off at the park and there were 100's of dogs there of various breeds. They had such sinister looks on their faces. I was tempted to scream out, "Don't let them congregate this way!" I was sure the afternoon would end in disaster. TD encouraged me to leave, once I shared my suspicions with her, so I did. Since then, dogs have kind of creeped me out. I really feel they're up to no good.

jdoc said...

I'm taking care of a dog named Sam right now. In his old age, he's decided it's easier to poop inside the house than out. So, I'm just saying, maybe Amber could be worse.