A special ed. staffer whom I’ve never really spoken with before decided to voice her opinion on my size on Monday. We were washing our hands next to each other in the bathroom, so apparently there was a natural opening.

“When are you due?” she asked.

“Oh,” I said warily, “not until the end of May.”

“Goodness!” she exclaimed, clearly shocked. “And you’re carrying just ONE baby?!”

“Mmm hmmm,” I said politely, smiling tightly and grabbing a towel.

People: I have a mirror, so I know what's happening to me. Also, I totally know that my hands and feet have started swelling uncontrollably, and now only two pairs of my shoes fit me. I think the ending here could be a little rough.