I took the day off today in order to get to accomplish a couple of routine doctors' appointments.
First, I saw my opthalmologist, who also happens to be my mother-in-law.
The mistake I made there was suggesting to Jane's tech that I didn't really need to get my pupils dilated. As soon as the tech agreed to "let me wait and see what the doctor said about that," I knew I'd probably made a mistake.
Sure enough, Jane said that if I didn't get my pupils dilated, she wouldn't be able to check for brain tumors or melanoma.
This obviously played to my natural tendency toward paranoia, and so my appointment was extended by an hour and I left the office wearing those temporary, square-shaped paper sunglasses with loaner glasses over top.
Later, I saw my family medicine doctor for a check-up and mentioned that the skin had been falling off my right ear for six months. Was it cancer?
Paranoia and anxiety? She asked.
Yes, I said. But also, Cancer?
She doesn't think so, but she prescribed a cream and suggested I stop using hair products.
I obviously can't stop using hair products. I have curly hair. We need hair PRODUCTS. Plus, I've switched products in between the time when this started and now. So, I'm pretty sure that's not it.
And don't even go there with the sarcastic, "Where did you go to medical school?" query. I've heard that all before. From Dan, obviously.