Let's talk about the movie, Jason Bourne.  It's the latest in my favorite spy action thriller franchise, and it stars my celebrity boyfriend, Matt W. Damon.

Matt Damon's middle name doesn't start with W, I don't think. But, I wanted to feel like I had official information, as a professional reviewer.

Okay, I just checked google, and his middle name is Paige. Now we know.

Anyway, the good news is that the latest Bourne movie exists. The bad news is that it isn't really that good.  Here are some reasons:

1. The use of shaky cam is excessive, even for Bourne. It's like they couldn't figure out the choreography of the fights or the play-by-play of the car chases; and instead of nailing it down, they decided to go with really tight and blurry shots that might make you dizzy, but that don't make you forget the aforementioned problematic facts.
2. The story doesn't totally make sense.  Jason is hanging out and making bank by winning street fights.  Then, all of a sudden he's called out of hiding by Julia Stiles who doesn't provide a particularly compelling reason for him to reveal himself. In the trailer Jason says, "I remember everything," but in fact, he doesn't remember much of anything more than he already did.
3. The Bourne franchise is kind of sexist. Women compromise their professionalism and risk their lives after taking one look at Bourne. I mean, I understand it because Matt W. Damon, but these movie women should have more self control. And then, some of the women also die while Bourne looks at them mournfully as they bleed out. I'm glad Jason is sad, but but I'm disappointed that the women are mostly dead or professionally compromised.