I’ve found that dinner is more enjoyable if I present the food I’ve made a la Top Chef.

For instance, this evening I stood to the right of Dan’s chair, swooped his dish dramatically down to the placemat, and recited: “Tonight we have a San Marzano tomato sauce served over whole-grain pasta. The sauce is built on an olive oil and garlic base, featuring farm-fresh zucchini and red scallions, and garnished with fresh sprigs of basil. On the side, we have a fresh caprese salad with Minnesota-grown tomatos, organic avocados and vidalia onions, and fresh mozarella with a balsamic drizzle. Please enjoy.”

Then a terse nod, and straight to my seat to test the seasoning.

I recommend trying this at your house for kicks. I also recommend watching Top Chef.

Seriously, why haven’t you? They do a marathon on Bravo every Wednesday before the new show airs at 9 Central.

Please enjoy.

Usually I totally understand Dan’s crushes. Natalie Maines: Yes. Ashley Judd: Obviously.

“Sporty Spice is off the list now,” he told me last night, “but Baby Spice is totally on it.”

And I think that’s a good edit.

But I do not understand his fascination with the host of Top Chef, Padma Lakshmi. Padma seems smart and nice. She seems to have a discerning palate and contributes nicely to "Judges Table." Overall, I think she does a swell job of hosting the second-best reality show on television.

But, she’s not hot. She’s actually kind of emaciated, I think; her wardrobe is questionable, and in some shots, her face looks somehow just not quite right.

“Look,” I said emphatically, as we watched this week’s show, “she looks kind of like a reptile right now.”

“Yeah,” Dan replied without a pause. “A hot reptile who I’d like to have sex with.”

Excellent. I guess there are some things we don’t need to understand about one another for our marriage to continue.