I've had a couple of magic marathons. My training was solid, I felt confident, and everything went amazingly on race day--strong finishes, even paces, big smiles.

I've also had a couple of just fine marathons. I ran within my fitness and felt pretty good.

And then, there have been a few really hard-fought marathons. My stomach got messed up, my legs dragged more than they should have. I ran through a dark night of the soul to get to the finish line.

This last weekend's marathon was one of the hard-fought ones. After 16 or 17 pretty good miles, I started cramping in my feet and legs. My stomach hurt. I narrowed my focus to one foot in front of the other. About three miles from the finish line, I reminded myself that if I dropped out, I'd have to go home and tell my children that I didn't finish the race because, in the end, I just didn't feel like it.

That's not really the message I've been trying to impart to my kids about sticking with the hard things. I've been more on the "try your best and accept your failures" train lately. I've ridden the "don't give up" car. So, one foot in front of the other, right? There really wasn't a choice.

Eventually, I got to the end and meandered through the finish area. Only one volunteer asked if I needed the medical tent. I made it to the light rail train, which I planned to ride back home. This was harrowing because of my stomach situation, but you'll be happy to know I held off the sickness. When I arrived at the homestead, I burst in the door. Shef stood to give me a hug, and I ducked under his arm and headed for the powder room. On the way, I accidentally yakked on the kitchen floor.

That's the kind of day it was. I pointed at the vomit and told Dan, "I didn't make it." It's true I didn't make it in that one instance, but in the "finish the marathon" sense, I did make it. I just didn't make it look pretty.

Skiing:

I love the free feeling of whizzing down the mountain, stopping frequently for breaks and 100% controlling my speed. I'd say my ski level is stagnant compared to other years. Why try to get better at a dangerous sport at 40? Seems like not such a great idea, especially when I can just, like, have fun and look sort of like I know what I'm doing. Or at least look like I'm not a danger to others.

Altitude Sickness:

It appears that one person in our party might have some mild to moderate altitude sickness. It's better not to google this, but instead to consult a mountain medical professional. That's on the docket for today. Luckily, in the limited medical research I did do, professionals say that altitude sickness generally resolves in short order. We should be on the other side of this in no time.

Reading:

I've got two perfect vacation titles on the go. One is The Widow by Fiona Barton. I love a good psychological thriller, especially on vacay. In this one, there's this feeble woman named Jean who married a veritable asshole who may also be a criminal. The blurbs all tell me I'm in it with an unreliable narrator, so things could turn any second.

The second book is America's Next Reality Star by Laura Heffernan. It's about Jen. She's suddenly jobless, boyfriendless, and broke. Why not go on a reality television show about puzzles and problem-solving? As you can imagine, the pages are flying by here. Reality television has long been my kryptonite.

That's about it. I'm hoping the second of these three items resolves today. Don't you?

I'm sad to say I haven't made too much headway on my lengthy spring-break to-do list.

Alas.

But to tell the truth -- and I'm being 100% honest here -- I don't much care. I did other really exciting things. My 40th birthday was the most memorable and frankly the best birthday I can remember.

As I was writing that, I scanned back over other birthdays, and it's true that I do have lasting memories of 23. I had a fancy dinner at a sushi restaurant with Dan, several of my friends, and my mom. At the table, Dan said fondly, "And now you're 24."

"No, I'm not," I said. "I'm 23."

He insisted I was 24, but I knew for a fact that wasn't the case. I knew it especially because we were celebrating my golden birthday. Also, I was sure my birthday was March 23rd, as it has been every other year.

"Are you serious?!" Dan finally exclaimed. Everyone laughed pretty hard, and then the sushi was excellent.

In any case, all of the things on my aforementioned to-do list will still be there when I'm finished vacationing.

In the meantime, I plan to be goal-oriented about downhill skiing. I'm going to take lots of runs and not get hurt. I'm going to write on my blog a few times. I'm going to be pleasant and cheerful in interactions with my family members. I might think about other writing, too. Anything is possible.

Remember the book? I'm still writing it. In fact, I just started an 8-week intensive coaching session with my teacher. During this time, I'm going to completely finish the first draft.

When I say "first draft," I mean that almost every paragraph in the entire thing has or will have been revised 4 or 5 or 10 times. Isn't that nuts? Although I've been reading about writing and writers for my entire life, and even though almost all of the novelists I admire discuss revising all of the words countless times, the necessity of expansive and extensive revision still surprises me.

And, this is weird: I can't always tell what needs to be changed and what doesn't. Usually, I can totally tell. If I'm writing a book review or a blog post, I pretty much know when something has to be cut or rephrased. Even if I decide not to fix it, I can tell if there's a weak spot.

In the novel, it's way harder to determine. This is why you need readers (I found two fantastic ones in my last writing class, and we've agreed to continue to read for each other), and that's why you (okay, I) need a teacher.

Right now, my teacher has instructed me to map the entire story in a spreadsheet. My book has lots of third-person limited narrators, so I have to track who's telling what and when. I also have to map the outer events, so that together, my teacher and I can place the "reveals" in the story to keep the pacing snappy. Then, we'll track each character's inner arc and determine how each one develops or doesn't. Which minor characters are going to end up playing bigger roles? I don't even totally know yet.

Also, I have to write the rest of the words. The ending. There are about 20,000 words to go. I mostly know what happens, but there might be some surprises. 20k is both a lot and not a lot. Remember when I wrote that much in the month of November? I'll need a little of that grit in the next eight weeks.

Here's my pronouncement for the sake of accountability: This is going to get done by the end of April. And then, I'll spend the summer obsessing over the next round of revisions. There are probably 4 or 5 or 10 to go. I'm too far in to quit, and I don't even want to quit. I want to finish the book and get it out there. Is that so wrong?

There's only a week left in NaNoWriMo. How are things going? I mean, pretty well. I've averaged 611 words per day during the month of November. That's well over my original goal of 500 words per day, and right on track with my revised goal of writing an additional hundred words per day in a graduated schedule week-by-week. If all goes well, my daily average will rise to 667 words per day by November 30th.

My NaNo dashboard will helpfully calculate that for me. My only problem with the NaNo dashboard is that it won't let me establish my own goal. It automatically says every writer's goal is 50,000 words in November, which we've already agreed is impossible for me.

But, oh man, if I keep trucking along, I will have written almost 20,000 words in just the month! Wouldn't that be awesome?!

Here's a pitfall: I've been writing so much that there's not a lot of time for revision. I feel like I'm losing my sense of whether any given scene is particularly good. That's a little disorienting, but I do have checks that keep me sort of grounded. First, I have my writing group. I send them pages, and they tell me whether they're any good. They do tell the truth, which I know because they've told me before that pages need heavy revision. Also the second check:  I know I can go back later, read the pages and determine with fresh eyes how much revision they need on my own. I find I generally KNOW, but I don't always want to DO.

But forget about revision for the rest of November. Might as well get the story on paper now, while the train is in motion. 8 days left. Let's do this.


Mac revises in kindergarten writer's workshop

Revising the fitness/war metaphor

Today begins National Novel Writing Month. That's a real thing. You go online and pledge to write 50,000 words in the month of November.

Obviously, I can't write 50,000 words in the month of November. That would be insane. That would be 1667 words per day.

But you know what? I can write 17500 words in the month of November, and that's what I've pledged to do, both here and on the NaNoWriMo website. That's just 500 words per day. Not even two paperback pages! That seems totally do-able.

This week, I moved my project to a book-writing software called Scrivener, which calculates paperback pages for you. Want to know how many I have right now? It's 94. #headedtowardhalfway

At the end of the month, I'll have 152 pages, which is definitely halfway and 50% more than I have right now. That's going to feel amazing. Once I get to that point, it would just be easier to finish the whole book because 152 pages?! Whose ever heard of abandoning a project after you've gotten that far.

Of course, now that I'm thinking about it, I myself have considered dropping out of marathons at mile 22 before. But you know what? I didn't do it. I hauled myself across the finish line in every single one of those marathons. And that's what I'm doing with this book. The book is - mark my words - getting written.

It's not an official challenge or anything, but in November I'm going to write here about writing. Like a little meta thing.  It'll probably be fun, and even if not, I'll be writing words. Practicing.

The time I tried to get back into shape and fell off the treadmill

The pros and cons of participating in a workplace-based fitness challenge