It's been another month since I wrote anything here. Pretty soon this whole damn blog will just be laments about not writing on the whole damn blog.

Anyway, we're off on a weird Christmas adventure, locked down in our home as so many others are. Inspired by a colleague, I asked the children a week or two ago about what fun events in which they might want to engage.

They arched their eyebrows and sneered in response to this query. "What are you talking about?" one of them asked.

"Like maybe we can drive through a Christmas light display on the State Fairgrounds?" One of my third graders had told me about this diversion. She was awed by it. Of course, it's worth remembering that she is eight years old.

Still, the kids agreed to the lights, although without much enthusiasm. "Okay," they said. I did some quick research and discovered that the only available tickets were for tours that began after 9:45pm. I mean, I like fun, but I also have a bedtime.

So, I canned that particular light idea. Luckily, a colleague mentioned another fun tour where you get to tune into a radio station and Christmas music syncs to the holiday display! I booked a ticket for 6:30pm this evening. It would be early enough that we'd make it home for my 9pm retiring.

"We will be going to the Severs' Corn Maze Light Display!" I announced to the family with militant cheer.

Everyone feigned excitement. Or, at least everyone reserved their bellyaching. I promised drive-thru Chik-fil-A as a bonus. And then guess what happened? Our brown Christmas has been thwarted by the season's first big blizzard. It's happening this very evening at the same time as my light tour. We're getting between 5 and 15 inches with 2-4 foot drifts on top of the glaze ice that will form after a morning of rain and 40-degree temps. By the time I tuck myself in, the temperature will be below zero with fifty-degree wind gusts. 

So, the moral of the story is, don't plan any family fun. It won't happen, and your kids will just be in a position to tell you they told you so. You're welcome.

How are things going? Well, let's take stock:

Clean Eating: Oh, as if. It's December. Report cards are due, holiday shopping has barely begun, the faculty lounge, which is perpetually stocked with baked goods, is mere steps from my classroom. In fact, there is literally not a closer classroom to the fully-stocked faculty lounge than mine. Plus, I'm just not really trying that hard. Bring on the toffee!

Exercise: An eyebrow raise seems appropriate here. I'm hanging on to fitness like a mom hangs onto a wild toddler in Disney World. That's the best synonym I can think of at this very moment. Still, I ran a 5k yesterday. To be honest, if I didn't have a date with a friend at that 5k, I totally would have bailed.

Report Cards: This isn't easy, people. The report cards are massively time-consuming. I'm trying my best to have the report cards accurately reflect each child's progress, as well as my adoration for each child. That's a tall order. I'll probably get it done by the deadline because, for better or for worse, meeting deadlines is how I roll. However, there might be some crying on the way. Sadly, crying is also how I roll.

Christmas Cheer: Believe it or not, I'd give myself a 5 on a scale of 10 for Christmas cheer. That's high for me, as I'm certifiably Grinchy. But, self-improvement is a worthy aim, and I'm nothing if not a life-long learner.

That's how things are going. And that's five weeks in a row of weekly blog posts. #goldstar

One week left until Winter Break. For better or for worse, the emotional ups and downs of a teaching calendar are pretty predictable. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but we're now staring down the barrel of one of the trickiest weeks of the year.

Thanksgiving was lovely as usual. Dan's cranberries were a highlight for sure, and in terms of the company, my niece Ilse is totally divine.

For one thing, she's a baby GIRL. She was wearing this perfect red tartan dress with matching bloomers. Also she's quite curious and obviously a brilliant genius.

After Ilse and everyone else left, we remembered as an afterthought that we'd like to snap a Christmas-card worthy family photo. Well, Shef refused to smile, Mac was obsessed with locating his pacifier, and I look like a total lunatic.

This Christmas was a great one, to tell the truth. All of the celebrations were quite enjoyable, and the presents were well-chosen without exception.

Santa must have thought we were really good this year because Shef got the Playmobil castle he’s been coveting for months, and Dan and I are getting a new, king-sized Sleep Number bed.

I am so happy. It might fit both of us and two kids, don’t you think? At least some of the time? So I won't have to slink off to the empty twin in the dead of night to avoid a killing kick to the head?

On our Boxing Day trip to Target, I thought I’d pick up a couple of emergency pacifiers for our plane ride to Arizona tomorrow. (Yes, my nearly-four-year-old still has a sucking habit. We’ve accepted this, and so should you.) I looked for some solid-color pacis in his favorite brand, but the only ones available had cutesy designs of animals on them.

“We’re not getting these pacis,” Shef said disdainfully, as he pushed the package back at me.

“Well, I guess pacis are really for babies,” I explained, “so the designs are for babies.”

“No they’re not,” Shef said indignantly, and searched the shelf in vain for manly, knight and castle paci motifs.

Thanksgiving here was a trip – good food, good company, and a super Shrek screening on Dan’s parents’ new tv-sound system.

Now, there’s school to think about – I’ll be starting new units in both classes, and I’m not quite ready to go on those.

Also, I methodically ignored all of the papers I was supposed to grade this weekend, and now, despite my most fervent wishes, they’ll have to be attended to sometime soon.