It's been another month since I wrote anything here. Pretty soon this whole damn blog will just be laments about not writing on the whole damn blog.

Anyway, we're off on a weird Christmas adventure, locked down in our home as so many others are. Inspired by a colleague, I asked the children a week or two ago about what fun events in which they might want to engage.

They arched their eyebrows and sneered in response to this query. "What are you talking about?" one of them asked.

"Like maybe we can drive through a Christmas light display on the State Fairgrounds?" One of my third graders had told me about this diversion. She was awed by it. Of course, it's worth remembering that she is eight years old.

Still, the kids agreed to the lights, although without much enthusiasm. "Okay," they said. I did some quick research and discovered that the only available tickets were for tours that began after 9:45pm. I mean, I like fun, but I also have a bedtime.

So, I canned that particular light idea. Luckily, a colleague mentioned another fun tour where you get to tune into a radio station and Christmas music syncs to the holiday display! I booked a ticket for 6:30pm this evening. It would be early enough that we'd make it home for my 9pm retiring.

"We will be going to the Severs' Corn Maze Light Display!" I announced to the family with militant cheer.

Everyone feigned excitement. Or, at least everyone reserved their bellyaching. I promised drive-thru Chik-fil-A as a bonus. And then guess what happened? Our brown Christmas has been thwarted by the season's first big blizzard. It's happening this very evening at the same time as my light tour. We're getting between 5 and 15 inches with 2-4 foot drifts on top of the glaze ice that will form after a morning of rain and 40-degree temps. By the time I tuck myself in, the temperature will be below zero with fifty-degree wind gusts. 

So, the moral of the story is, don't plan any family fun. It won't happen, and your kids will just be in a position to tell you they told you so. You're welcome.

Well, it's been a great day so far. Of course, I have the best family(ies) in the universe. One highlight was the new Flip video camera Dan got me. Hence, video will make a triumphant return to this blog. Hallelujah.

Another thing I'd like to share with you was my latest shopping success:

On the 22nd, I had 15 minutes to shop for a bathing suit. I went into the Marshalls. I picked three suits in my size from the rack. I brought them to the dressing room. I purchased the least offensive. It's a black and white paisley-patterned tankini with full-coverage on the tummy and the rear. It cost 24.99.

It was truly a Christmas miracle.

I've gotten some positive feedback on the video blogs, and we all know how I thrive on praise.


TokBox - Free Video Chat and Video Messaging

Merry Christmas Eve!

We started Christmas today with a super-fun gathering at Cupcake and Michael's house. Lots of laughs were shared by all, especially during a rousing round of Balderdash, the board game we'd given Ben as a gift.

I'm extremely skilled at Balderdash, and I would have prevailed had I not agreed to help Shef take his turn as Dasher. In the end, that choice was not worth it because he just ended up crying about not being able to read people's cursive and "bumpy writing." Then he expressed frustration about not being able to read books as well as he wants. I'm pretty sure that's because he can't yet read Harry Potter. Life is rough for these Kindergarten readers.

The other day, I went to Barnes and Noble and asked for a fantasy/magic book for younger readers, but the ladies in the kids' department told me that what I was asking for doesn't exist. I'm pretty sure they're wrong about that, but I didn't have time to go to Red Balloon and talk to some decent booksellers.

Elementary teachers, librarians, and literacy researchers: Do you have any tips for me on that front? Basically we're looking for a book that's like HP, but not as scary. Could be a read-aloud or a something to read alone.

Here's a video blog. I'm wearing my traditional video blogging outfit.


TokBox - Free Video Chat and Video Messaging

This morning, we took the kids to see Santa at fundraiser breakfast for my school's competition cheerleading team. Our cheerios were in the top 5 in the nation last year, so it's a worthy cause.

It's a good thing Shef got to tell Santa then that he wanted a broomstick that really flies and a wand that does real magic, as our late afternoon trip to see the Macy's holiday display was a total failure.

The line was three floors and hours long. Obviously, we had to give up and come home. The holiday cheer can really be exhausting.

You know right away when a couple of your usual suspects come up to your desk before the bell rings to confess that they’re really sorry, but their prescriptions ran out, and they haven’t taken their meds in a couple of days, that you’re going to have a heck of a Friday. When the Friday is also the last day before a two-week break, you know you better summon some hard-core PMA. I could tell everyone was as ready for the break as I was because:

• When I stepped into the hallway this morning, en route to purchase coffee, I got hit by football. Apparently I got in the middle of “going long.”

• I couldn't start my movie about mining companies in Kentucky because the hockey players in fourth hour (there are eight) would not stop yelling, “He farted on me! He farted on me!”
  

• One of my fourth-hour cherubs tried to go to an English class next door instead of mine, and my pal Rachel had to walk him back over.

• When she walked in with him in tow, the class was busy yelling about the farting.

• When the mining protest songs started in the movie, the kids warbled along. They also yelled at the screen about how the women who were singing actually looked like men.

• My Christmas card from Maddie read, “Have a pimpin’ HOLIDAYZ, Ms. W. You are my fav-o-rite teacher evurrr.”

• The thesis statement in essay test I graded during the mining songs began, “Ok. First of all, this question is retarded.”

No sooner had I finally breathed a sigh of relief and packed up my load of papers at the end of the day, when a girl came in and said, “Um? Ms. W? There’s a huge fight going on outside.” I called the office, and then hurried outside just in time to see one of the fighters remove her belt and begin to whip her opponent.

If you think I was going to get in the middle of that one, you have another thing coming.