Everyone knows that I hate fun. Dan was the first to name this trait, but once he did, I felt kind of free. I knew in my heart that I've pretty much always hated fun, and frankly, it felt good to finally be myself.

Group ice breakers?

Teams-building courses with colleagues?

Easter egg hunts and rolls?

Pumpkin carving?

Even happy hour if there are too many people there, and it's too loud?

I don't really like any of these things.  I'll do them out of politeness or professionalism, but I definitely won't enjoy them. Even if I'm laughing and looking like I'm having a good time, I'm probably not. I simply refuse to enjoy things that are fun.

So, it should be clear then, that I also hate Halloween in general, and costumes in particular. Some of my super cute students, though, have been asking about my costume for Monday.

"Oh," I told them, wrinkling my nose. "I'm not dressing up." They stared at me, maybe thinking I was kidding. "I don't like fun," I continued. They blinked.

"But I have an idea for you!" one of them said, adorably hopeful.

"Tell me," I acquiesced.

"You should be the grammar police!"

Now that IS an idea. "I'll keep it in mind," I told the sixers, raising my index finger for emphasis. And sure enough? I think I might actually dress up this year. I need a white t-shirt and a Sharpie, on which I'll write snarky messages like, "An apostrophe won't make your family's name plural, I promise." I also need a police cap (Walgreens?!) and a red felt-tip correcting pen.

Easy peasy AND super not fun. Can you think of a bigger buzz kill than someone who corrects you're your grammar? This is the perfect costume for me.

Mac also hates things.

Three more things I hate from the This American Life blogging challenge.

Halloween is fun for most people, but as you might remember, I hate fun. At my school, you get to wear costumes. I wore a t-shirt that I wrote on with a permanent marker. It says, "Grammar Police" and "Special Pronoun Force." Also other stuff like, "Your apostrophe won't make it plural," and "Ask me about who and whom!"

This was the second year in a row I've worn it, which I think makes it a classic.

"What are you?" the kids asked as they arrived from recess.

"The grammar police," I said, to minimal reaction. "This is as fun as I get."

They looked a little sad for me. After all, their costumes were super fun. Especially the blow-up t-rex and sumo wrestler. "Can you two deflate?" I asked. I hated to wreck their vibe, but the t-rex couldn't really see out of his costume. Also, the whirring of the electric motors required to keep the both of them puffed up was loud.

"Sure," they said.

And then, about ten minutes into my lesson, my boss showed up to do an impromptu observation. On Halloween. After recess. With the t-rex and sumo wrestler, the gorilla suit, a bunch of football players, and a Thor.

"Can I take my costume off?" the gorilla asked while I was giving directions. "I'm getting really sweaty."

"Yes," I said. "But, wait. Do you have clothes on underneath?"

He did, but it's always good to check.