Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Inflatable Face

Lindsay, my internet friend, and I have known each other for more than ten years, but we’ve only met in person twice. The second time was this weekend, and the first time was in the fall of 2003 when I was five months pregnant. It’s important to know that five months pregnant on ME looks like seven or eight months pregnant on any normal person.

On Friday, I noticed Lindsay staring at my face while we ran around the lake. “You look different than I remember,” she said in explanation.

“Well YEAH,” I said, “I was pregnant last time.” And then I shuddered, just thinking of the horror of the inflation. “THIS,” I said desperately trying to explain myself, “THIS is what I really look like. My face… UGH! It’s really not that fat in real life.”

“It wasn’t fat,” Lindsay said. She’s a model of tact, I tell you. “But I think you're much more chiseled this time.”

And for that, I praise the Lord and breastfeeding.

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