Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I Think the Whole Shrimp Course Was Really Poetic

I have avoided checking my school email this summer, but today I logged in.

I logged in, and I downloaded the superintendent’s e-newsletter for July, which included information about the "Wellness Policy." Apparently this document mandates that carbonated beverages will no longer be available for purchase anywhere on school property.


Including the staff lounges.




Do they have any idea what will happen to the quality of my English instruction after fourth hour if an emergency Diet Coke is beyond the realm of possibility?

How does the "Wellness" Policy think we survive in a building with fifteen-hundred teenagers every day?

And what are their plans for dealing with the increased need for mental health counseling due to sixth-hour nervous breakdowns?


Maggie said...

That is absolutely ridiculous.

I suggest keeping a small red cooler marked "First Aid" under your desk. You know, for emergencies.

Jackie said...

I missed this "Wellness Edict" when I read my school emails. I predict speakeasies of sorts will open up in student lockers throughout the building. Can't you just see teachers going up to a student's locker with a "Psst, the password is Diet Coke"? Another question: Will drugs be easier to obtain at school than Diet Coke?

cg said...

Oh no that is crazy - lol Jackie, about the drugs! That is probably true.

kc, you will just have to keep your emergency stock close at hand

Kelly said...

I am not sure you are going to love the aspergers as much with a reduced amount of caffeine.... And really sugar for that matter.

Rachel said...

Maybe we'll just have to go to the IV drip idea.

trulybrilliant109 said...

I've already got my little fridge on order for fall. there are many plugs in the posh updstairs classroom. Let me know how much space you'll need.

LH said...

I was going to recommend the small fridge, so I'm glad that's being taken care of. We still have the coke machines at my school, but we are asked to pour our cokes into a plastic tumbler. Forget that, I like drinking diet coke in a can.
The kids freak out when they see me holding a diet coke, but what can they really do about it?