Sunday, November 23, 2008

And You May Find Yourself Behind the Wheel of a Large Automobile

There's a new stage happening here. Shef asks bazillions of questions all the time. Here's a sample of today's inquiries between the hours of ten and twelve: Can boys get married with boys? Does everyone have a dad? Is there just black night sky all around the planet? How can I feel the planet? What happens when everyone dies? What time is it in Senegal? What time is it in Senegal now? And, how do we kill turkeys?

This last one was prompted by a tapestry at church which features pilgrim men marching along with muskets behind the Thanksgiving table.

I did a little blah-blahing about how all the meat we eat comes from animals, and we have to kill them in ways that cause them the least pain possible.

"But how do we KILL the turkeys?" Shef said, undeterred.

I sighed. "Do you really want me to tell you?

"Yes," he said, his hands folded in front of his chest in anticipation.

"Well," I began, "I'm pretty sure the best way to do it is to hang the turkey upside-down by its feet, so all the blood runs to its head. And then, after a little while, you cut its head off, and let the blood drain out into a bucket."

I expected Shef to be horrified, but of course he wasn't.

He took a big inhale and looked gleeful. "Can I DO it?" he asked. "Do you use a BIG KNIFE?"

I was saved from answering these questions by the beginning of Church School, during which our cherub was cast in the role of Joseph for the Living Nativity. I'm sure he won't have any questions about that.


LH said...

just fyi, you've got that theads song stuck in my head now. luckily it's one of my faves.

Have you introduced the idea of going veggie to mr. Shef? He doesn't seem to have a keen interest right now, but maybe , slowly, he'll come around to my way of eating.

KC said...

I told him about being vegetarian. He seemed to be interested, but then we had steak for dinner, and he was yelling about loving it SO MUCH.

mi said...

You got me at the TH reference- one of my favorites!

I love how kids can force the most gruesome info out of us, then beg for more.

SingletrackJenny (formerly known as IronJenny) said...

THat is hilarious! p.s. - I love meat. Especially turkey.