Sunday, November 9, 2008

Desperately Seeking Stylist

A couple of years ago, Oprah gave me some instructions on how to clean out my closet. She said, throw it away if it doesn't fit, isn't flattering, or doesn't reflect the image you want to project.

For some reason, as I was entering the second trimester of my last pregnancy, I suddenly remembered this advice and took it to mean I should get rid of everything I own except a couple of pairs of pants (now too big - thank you, breastfeeding!), a few fading t-shirts (now too small - darn you, breastfeeding!) and a green cable-knit sweater (see photo below by the Obama sign).

Since then, I also have watched a couple episodes of Tim Gunn's Guide to Style on which the guru pronounced my Dansko clogs "the homeliest shoes in the world," and decried cable-knit sweaters as dowdy and bulky.

Dammit! I'm hopeless! And experts have confirmed this!

So, I guess it isn't that surprising that when Dan thought, because he could see the inside-out logo on the rolled-up cuff of the green sweater at church this morning (ok, yes, it's both too big and unflattering), that I'd simply put the whole thing on in the dark.

"Oh, hon," he said, gently, "is your shirt inside-out?"

Not, "Ha ha, what a funny anomaly! You dressed inappropriately!" But, rather, "Oh, how sad. You've done it yet again."


AmyRobynne said...

I don't often watch Oprah, but I saw that episode. Luckily I wasn't pregnant at the time, but it did help me realize that saving too-small jeans wasn't a good idea. I replaced all our hangers with wooden ones and had my SIL come help me get rid of stuff. I now have more clothes than you seem to, but not by much. But I think they're all out of style now. I'm pretty hopeless. I was briefly stylish last summer when I was working and was forced to buy a week's worth of decent clothes, but it's been way too long (and too many winters of pregnant-not pregnant-pregnant-not pregnant) for my cold weather clothes to make any sense.

Mary said...

you think you are bad? you should see me in the village... I promise you could never get worse than that. BUT my village seems to think I am beautiful. except when I cut my hair to which they said,
"OHHHHH HAWA, fii hondun? an no kani jonni" which roughly translates to oh no hawa (that is my name) you are SO ugly now. WHY?" so you know, maybe it is genetic.