Sunday, October 5, 2008

Jesus Was a Community Organizer

Shef started skating lessons yesterday. He's kind of interested in hockey. I'm leery of hockey as a sport choice because at least 85% of the hockey boys I've taught in eight years have been pretty much assholic.

But Dan kept telling me that if I didn't let Shef learn how to skate RIGHT NOW, I would ruin forever any chance he'd ever have of playing on any hockey team in the universe, even the nice ones. So I relented.

Shef is convinced he already knows how to skate because he's seen Ice Princess a few times. He was jumping around on his little rented figure skates the lobby before his lesson, and he and Dan were quoting lines from the movie, like "The toe pick is there for the reason! Use it or no friends over for a week!" And, "Those skates take, like, a minimum of ten days to break in. Everybody knows that." And, "To increase the height of my jump, I'll apply more force with my toe pick."

I thought this was pretty embarrassing, especially when Dan was crossing his arms across his chest and pretending to take off for a salchow. Also when he was watching the real skaters, and saying things like, "She keeps popping her lutz."

"What level are those girls?" Shef asked.

"Junior Pass," we told him simultaneously, and then we laughed because we have no idea if that's actually a real thing.

When Shef lined up with his class (no parents allowed inside the rink), Dan said meaningfully, "Hey, Shef! Skate with your heart, Buddy."

The lesson, which we watched through the glass in the lobby, consisted of moving about ten feet and then practicing sitting down and standing up.

Afterward, the kids were allowed to grab a cookie from the sign-in table. "Did you skate already?" the table lady asked cheerfully.

"YES," Shef told her. "I was totally awesome."


LH said...

This sounds very fun. We can do a compare/contrast venn diagram because your story makes me think back on my own experience which I will now relay. On #1 son's first outing on the ice, he was out there for about 20 seconds, slipping and falling horribly, so I looked away because I couldn't handle watching. About 5 seconds later, someone said, "Isn't that Quinn bleeding?" I looked up and he was hanging over the edge of the rink, screaming and crying, blood streaming from his chin. It was husbandman's birthday but we ended up going over to the hospital for 7 stitches, rather than out to dinner. So...your story is a big relief to me. Well done, SHEF!!!!!!

KC said...

lol, lee. poor quinno. does he know how to skate now??

Bob said...

Santa brought me skates last year. I enjoy them as much as one can in sunny California. I took an adult group skate class. These new skates were very good at going fast, but I needed to learn how to stop. After 12 weeks, there was no stopping lesson, but I managed to learn it myself in the public skating time that followed each class.

The first class was very similar to Shef's: they take everyone (adults, remember) out on the ice and ask them to move about 10 feet. Those that can (me included) went into the intermediate class. Those that couldn't (a friend I was with) went into the beginner section. I wish we'd gotten cookies. We didn't.

It turned out to be a figure skating class. I was OK until the last few lessons where my lack of a toe pick (I love my Graf's, but they're really not made for figures) put me at a bit of a disadvantage.

Jackie said...

I agree that many hockey players can be assholic, but Joe's teammates turned out to be some of the best guys ever. And I didn't sign him up for hockey when he was young, so he was always playing catch up to make varsity. Joe still holds that against me, so I have to side with Dan on this one (probably a first) that it was a good thing to sign up Shef for skating lessons. Next year he can play mites.