Act One: The Joke

The kids learned an obscene gesture from some neighborhood hooligans.  I calmly explained the underlying meaning of the gesture and told them why we should never, ever do it again.

Shef kept cracking up.  "Shef," I said, "it's not funny."

"Mom," Shef said, "it IS funny.  You just don't know because you're not a kid."

Act Two: The Reunion

At a lacrosse game, I ran into a teacher I worked with when I first started my career, 16 years ago.  We both have eleven year-olds now.

"You look exactly the same," I said, enthusiastically.

"Yep," he said. And then nothing. I, apparently, do not look exactly the same.

Act Three: The Ring

Turns out Dan wants to upgrade his titanium wedding band to silicone.  He broke the news to me last night after considering it for a YEAR.

Here's the story: it turns out the fact that he can't get his ring off his finger ever is really freaking him out.  Also, Jimmy Fallon nearly lost his finger due to a ring-related accident.  This has been compounding Dan's wedding band stress.

So, he's looking into non-metal alternatives to the traditional ring.  I suggested a tattoo, but this was met with only tepid enthusiasm.