Sometimes, even when I get up exactly on time, even when the children eat breakfast at a reasonable hour, even when Teddy has been walked on the early side, even when all of the appropriate sports gear has been pre-loaded into the car, EVEN THEN, we can still get waylaid on the way to school because of stupid traffic.  That's what happened this morning, and boy was I irritated.

Here are some strategies to try when you're stuck in traffic and notes on their efficacy, as tested by me.

• Trace-like breathing.  I'm not sure if it's actually a trance.  As I mentioned before, I'm going to have to visit the hypnotherapist to be sure.  But what I try to do is let my vision blur into a soft focus, let my cheeks hang slack, and then breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. I give this strategy 3 stars.  I mean, it probably lowers the blood pressure, but it requires constant vigilance and I have to start over every time I take a break to shush the children or curse other drivers.
• Frantic ear wax picking. Let's be honest. This is clearly not a good strategy.  And yet, my obsession with ear wax continues. I find myself digging like a nut job every flipping time I hit a red light.  0 stars.  Nasty and a poor example for my children.
• Pump-up playlist. In theory this would be a great strategy.  5 stars.  It works super well when I'm by myself. It goes wrong when I have to share air time with the children. They play infernal and maddening music and they fight over whose turn it is to choose. 2.5 stars if they're in the car, which is almost always.