Act One: The Pool

Mac and I are having a standoff related to swimming lessons.

He won't get in the flipping water at his swimming lessons.  Every day I bring him to the pool, and every day he won't get in.

"Look," I explain.  "Swimming is a life skill, and in Minnesota, it's really important."

"I already know how to swim," he says.

"Yes," I said, "but you need to have endurance.  You have to be able to fall out of the boat in the middle of the lake and swim all the way back to shore."

"I'm not doing it," he says, arms folded.

I've tried making his life (and mine) sort of miserable with no treats and electronics.  I've tried offering immediate rewards like cookies the size of his face.

And he just says he doesn't care about these things.  He'll be all, meh.  Whatever.

Act Two: Fitness

I still feel like I'm waging the "Let's Stay Fit in the Years After College Athletics" war.  Maybe I should change the name of the war to something like "Longterm Wellbeing."  Maybe I should revise the "war" metaphor.

I'll think about these things later.

So far it's been 16 years.  Sometimes I win a battle; sometimes I gain ten pounds.

Act Three: Addiction

I can't decide what to do about this embarrassing fact, but it seems kind of like a battle.

I'm addicted to ears and ear wax.

It started when I had hearing loss related to wax buildup.

Now, I keep peering into the children's ears and fishing around in mine with my pinky nails.  I'm kind of concerned I'll just be digging around in my ears in public and that people will see this as a symptom of a larger problem.  A problem that, let's be honest, I probably have.